


Madness.

by anonymustotalus



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-13
Updated: 2013-09-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 11:43:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymustotalus/pseuds/anonymustotalus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall has been always a looser and he wants to change that. But his priorities change when he meets a mysterious boy called Harry, he try to know him better but Harry won’t let him.  Harry is that type of bad boy who doesn’t care about anyone, with a secret, he got a mental disorder and he doesn’t want anyone to know, that’s why he keeps away from people. Until he meets Niall, but he doesn’t want to hurt him, and he knows he could, he could hurt him, not only emotionally, but physically.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Madness.

Part I.

School sucks. Thought Niall while walking through his school corridor. It was the first day after Christmas holidays and those guys were making fun of him again. It has been always like this, those idiots kids said things to Niall and he always talked back, which made those boys laugh at him even more. Niall hated this situation, he was used to be loved by everyone, he was that charming, cute, funny, loud guy who no one could hate, no one but half of his high school. When he lived in Ireland he talked to everyone at his school and everyone likes him, but now, since he had moved to England 4 years ago because of his father’s job, no one likes him. Well, no one but a few friends he luckily had.  
   
“Hey Nialler!” a pitch voice woke him from his thoughts. It was Louis, one of his friends, he was funny and loud, just like Niall but in a more extreme way.  
   
“Hi Lou” Niall answered in a low tone.  
   
“Wow, was that bad?” Louis said putting one of his arms around Niall’s soulders.  
   
“What?” Niall said.  
   
“Your day! Obviously!”  
   
“Oh, well… It just wasn’t… What I expected” Niall finally said  
   
“Were those boys again? I’m going to have to give them and advice” Louis was serious but Niall knew he was joking so he half smiled.  
   
“Hey guys! How was your day?” Liam appeared just beaside Niall. He was his best friend.  
   
“Not bad” Niall lied.  
   
“Oh you little bastard, how you dare to lie to your best friend?” Oh, maybe a didn’t mentioned it, Louis was a drama queen.  
   
“Shut up boo bear!” Niall replied.  
   
“Vas apennin’ boys? Fighting again?” And Zayn appeared beside Louis. Zayn was his friend too but he was more independent and never really had the same communication as he had with Liam or Louis.  
   
“He called me boo bear!” Louis shouted on a childish tone.  
   
“And you called me bastard and liar” Niall replied.  
   
“Boo bear is so much worse” he put an I’m-so-offended face “what if someone hears it and start calling me that? Eh?”  
   
“Actually, that would be great” Zayn said and all the boys laughed, except Louis.  
   
“This sucks guys” Niall said suddenly.  
   
“What?” Liam asked.  
   
“This. Everything. Is our last year here and it’s all like the first day”  
   
“Well, that’s good I think, isn’t it?” Louis said. “That means we still be friends”  
   
“No, I don’t mean that. I mean… I’m just… I’m just tired of getting bullied every single day of my life no matter what I do. Tired of being invisible to everybody. I just, I just thought it will be different”  
   
“I don’t know what to say Nialler, I think that’s something we can’t change” Liam replied.  
   
“And why not?” Louis looked euphoric “I think we should change that, I don’t know if we can but we should”  
   
“What are you thinking about?” Zayn asked Louis  
   
“I don’t know, nothing in special, but we should try out something” Louis shrugged.  
   
“I don’t wanna get in trouble” Liam said.  
   
“Oh my god, Liam, calm down, we’re not going to break the laws or something…” Louis said “or that’s what I think” Liam glanced at him with fear on his eyes  
   
                                                            ***  
   
“Guys! Guys! Wait” Louis was running towards the rest of the boys at the end of the corridor, everyone looking at him. It was 8.12 in the morning and the class started at 8.30.  
   
“Oh god, this boy can be so awkward sometimes” Zayn murmured and looked to another place pretending like he didn’t knew him. Liam and Niall laughed slightly.  
   
“Guys” Louis finally got where the boys were, breathing heavily like he just ran the marathon. “You don’t know what I heard”  
   
“Oh, gossip Louis, here we go” Niall said joking, and Louis stucked his tongued out at him.  
   
“Well, I was walking through the hall and I passed beside principal Cowell’s office, and I saw a boy I’ve never seen before, he got curly hair, that’s all I could see” Louis was getting more and more mysterious. “And then I heard Mrs. Ferguson say that he was the new boy!” Louis finished like he had told the biggest secret ever, but that was Louis, drama queen.  
   
“And that’s important because…?” Zayn said. He didn’t understood why Louis was being so mysterious, and neither the other boys did.  
   
“I didn’t said it was important, I just said I heard something” Louis replied.  
   
“You’re a big idiot, you know?” Niall said joking.  
   
“Shut up!” Louis replied.  
   
“Definitely” Zayn agreed with Niall.  
   
“Hey!” Louis said punching Zayn shoulder.  
   
                                                            ***  
   
The day hadn’t been as bad as the day before, but Niall wanted to go home, it was only one hour left, Literature. He liked it but he just wanted to go home. He entered the class and took a sit. Nobody looked at him and he was sitting alone, obviously. Mrs. Ferguson entered in class and everyone sat down.  
   
“Good morning, before we start the class I’m going to introduce you your knew partner, boys” the teacher said. “Come in” Niall looked up. A chocolate curly haired boy entered and Niall knew it was him, the boy Louis talked about in the morning. The boy looked at the whole class, and in a fraction of second Niall’s eyes met his bright green eyes that were so captivating. “Come on, introduce yourself” the teacher said to the boy. He didn’t want to, Niall could tell that, he was nervous, uncomfortable.  
   
“M-my name is Harry, Harry Styles” Niall locked his eyes on the boy, Harry, his voice was hoarse and it made Niall shiver.  
   
“Okay, I think that’s enough, go sit down wherever you want, looks like we got a lot of empty spaces” Mrs. Ferguson said a bit disappointed as only a few students had matriculated on her subject.  
   
Harry walk trough the class, and stopped where Niall was. There were an empty sit besides him.  
   
“Can I sit here?” Harry asked Niall politely. Niall looked up meeting his eyes again. He froze for a moment.  
   
“Y-yes, yes, of course you can” Niall finally said and Harry sat down. There were a few empty sits but he decided to sit down with Niall. He felt a explosion of butterflies in his stomach at the though but then he tried to stop it.   
Niall had always knew he liked boys, girls too, but mostly boys, but he had never told anyone. When he moved to England almost everyone in the high school laughed at him, the only friends he could get we’re Liam, Louis and Zayn, if he told them maybe they will reject him, and he didn’t want to be alone, he never liked being alone. And if he told his parents they would kill him, her mother was a catholic-raised woman, and her father were always talking about how proud he was of having two male kids. He tried to tell his father but when he tried to talk about gays or sexuality with him his father will always say that ‘that was a disease’ and that he didn’t even wanted to talked about it. We can say his father was a classical men.  
   
“I’m Harry” the boy beside him said, interrupting him from his thoughts.  
   
“Niall” was all he could say.  
   
The class ended and Niall and Harry hadn’t talked too much. When the bell rang Harry got out of the class without saying goodbye. Niall went home without waiting for his friends.  
   
                                                            ***  
   
“Hey Nialler!” Louis called Niall.  
   
“Hey boys, what’s up?”  
   
“Look over there, that the boy I told you” Louis whispered pointing a curly haired boy in the locker with his finger.  
   
“Yeah , I know, he’s in my Literature class” Niall replied.  
   
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Louis asked disappointed.  
   
“I don’t know, I thought it wasn’t important” Niall shrugged  
   
“Well, it is” Louis said “what’s his name?”  
   
“Harry, Harry Styles, I think”  
   
“Really? I thought it would be more like Jason or maybe Jack”  
   
“Oh Louis, for god sake, shut up, you’re such a gossip girl!” Zayn shouted.  
   
“Hey guys calm down, would you?” Liam said  
   
“Hey” an unknown voice said. It was Harry. He was looking at Niall and moved his head as saying ‘hi’ with a smile. Niall froze but smiled back.  
   
“What was that?” Louis said turning Niall back to reality.  
   
“What?” Niall asked.  
   
“The new boy Harry, he just said ‘hey’ to you, are you friends or something?” Louis asked.  
   
“No, he just sat down next to me in class and that’s all” Niall explained “I guess I’m the only person he knows in here” Niall shrugged.  
   
The bell rang and the boys went to their classes. Louis and Niall went to the same class, and they sat together, and Harry was there too, sitting alone. The class started.  
   
“Do you like him?” Louis asked Niall trying nobody hear them.  
   
“What are you talking about?”  
   
“The new boy, he’s cute” Louis replied.  
   
“Are you mad? I obviously don’t like him, I like girls”  
   
“That doesn’t mean you don’t like boys too” Louis insisted.  
   
“I don’t-“  
   
“Niall, it’s ok, I won’t judge you, I’ve known you for a while now, and I don’t know about the others but I’ve always knew you liked boys”  
   
“I don’t know what are you talking about” Niall lied  
   
“Guys, have you finished?” The teacher asked.  
   
“Yes, sir, we’ve finished, I’m sorry” Niall said.  
   
                                                            ***  
   
It was lunch time and Niall hadn’t talk to Louis since that talk they had in class. He entered at the cafeteria and saw Liam, Zayn and Louis sitting together. He was angry at Louis, angry because he had find out his secret and he didn’t want anyone to know it, even though Louis had told him it wouldn’t change anything, but Niall just wasn’t ready. He look at the corner of the room and saw Harry sitting alone. He started walking to where Harry was, passing beside the boys and hearing a ‘Hey’ but ignoring it. Niall finally got where Harry was.  
   
“Hi, can I sit down here?” Niall asked. Harry looked up at the blonde boy.  
   
“Yeah, sure” Harry said and Niall sat down.  
   
“Thanks”  
   
There was an awkward silence between the to of them, Harry looked comfortable but Niall don’t, so he decided to broke the silence.  
   
“You don’t talk much, do you?” Niall asked smiling. Harry let out a small laugh.  
   
“No, it’s just that I’m not used to people talking to me, I mean, I’m not very sociable” Harry replied.  
   
“Oh” silence “I like to talk” Niall smiled as he took a bite of his dinner  
   
“I can see that” Harry laughed “Why you don’t sit with them?” Harry asked pointing to Liam, Louis and Zayn.  
   
“You don’t want me to sit with you?” Niall asked in reply.  
   
“No, it’s no that, I mean… I saw you today in class with that boy, Louis I think, and I thought you were friends” Harry shrugged.  
   
“I thought that too…”  
   
And silence again. Niall looked at Harry’s dinner, he hadn’t eat anything.  
   
“You should eat that” Niall suggested “I know it’s not good but at least you can eat it without get killed” Niall joked and Harry half smiled.  
   
“I’m not hungry” was all Harry said. Niall shrugged.  
   
“We have Literature now, we can go to class together, if you want, of course” Niall asked. Louis was right, he liked Harry, but he would never addmit it, Harry was mysterious and he didn’t know him, and it wasn’t like Niall really liked him but there was something about that boy and he didn’t knew what it was.  
   
“Sure” Harry said and the bell rang, they both got up and exited the cafeteria together with Louis looking at them.  
   
   
When they arrived to class they sat together. They didn’t talk much because Harry was paying attention to the class. The bell rang and Harry exited the class without waiting for Niall but he followed Harry.  
   
“Hey, Harry” Niall shouted at him.  
   
“Sorry, I have to go” was all Harry said before disappearing through the corridor.  
   
“Hey Nialler” Louis appeared behind Niall “I’m sorry about this morning, I just-“  
   
“You were right Louis” Niall said interrupting him.  
   
“What?”  
   
“That thing you said” Niall answered shyly “can we talk about this in another place, please?”

                                                              ***  
Part II.

Niall was nervous but he needed to do this, in some way Louis already knew but he have to tell him, and it was the first time he was talking to someone about his sexuality.  
They went to Niall’s house, nobody was there, his father was working and his mother was surely with her friends. They went upstairs to Niall room, Niall sat on the chair and Louis on the bed.  
“Louis, I-I like boys” Niall let it out. “You were right, but I was angry that someone had discovered my secret or maybe I was just afraid, I don’t know… ”  
“It’s okay Niall” Louis smiled at him “listen, you’re my best friend, I don’t mind if you like boys or girls, or both, you’re still my best friend”  
“Thank you” Niall smiled too “it means a lot”  
“Have you ever told anyone about this?”  
“No, I haven’t, you’re the only one who knows it” Niall recognized  
“Liam doesn’t know?” Louis asked surprised, he was Niall’s best friend.  
“No, he doesn’t, I don’t want him to hate me, and neither Zayn”  
“They won’t hate you Niall, they are you’re friends”  
”You don’t know that” Niall said in a defensive tone.  
“You like the new boy, don’t you? Louis said amusingly. They both smiled.  
“Are you hungry?” Niall asked changing the subject.  
“Don’t ignore me Horan” Louis replied laughing  
“Because I really am, I’ll go downstairs and get some food” Niall said ignoring Louis, and get out of the room quickly.  
He couldn’t say he liked Harry, but he couldn’t say he doesn’t like him neither. He just knew him for a day, and the boy was really weird, but there was something about him, maybe his chocolate curls that Niall wanted to touch so bad, or maybe those beautiful big green eyes that hide something Niall couldn’t tell. Niall couldn’t help but feel little butterflies on his stomach at the thought of Harry’s eyes. Well, obviously he was attracted by him. Niall took some salad and made two sandwiches, then he went upstairs to meet Louis waiting for him and the food. Niall hand him a sandwich and put the bowl with the salad on the desk.  
“Why can’t you tell me?” Louis asked.  
“Tell you what?” Louis gave Niall a you-know-what-I’m-talking-about look “I can’t tell you if I like Harry simply because I don’t even know, I knew him yesterday”  
“And so? I can tell you feel attracted by him Niall”  
“Well, I can’t deny the obviousness, he’s pretty hot” Niall smile at the thought of Harry “and he’s really weird y’know?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I don’t know… Doesn’t mind, let’s eat”  
                                                            ***  
Next the at school went so much better, the first three hours no one had bullied Niall, and at lunch time he sat with the boys again, but then, at Literature he noticed Harry wasn’t there. When the classes ended Niall went to find Louis.  
“Have you seen Harry?” Niall asked him.  
“No, I haven’t, why?”  
“He wasn’t at Literature class”  
“Maybe he’s sick”  
“Yeah, maybe” Niall said but he didn’t sound convinced.  
And the next three days were the same. Harry had disappeared, nobody knew anything about him. But at the fourth day, when Niall entered to his Literature class, there he was, Harry, sitting in the same sit as always, looking down writing something in a piece of paper. Niall smiled and approached to the curly haired boy.  
“Hey” Niall said as he sat down next to Harry “where have you been?” Harry looked up  
“I think that’s none of you business” Harry answered bitterly  
“That was a bit rude, don’t ya think? I was being nice and worried about you”  
“I didn’t ask you to” at that moment Harry’s eyes were ice, it wasn’t like the first time Niall look into them, it was like that boy that was in front of him wasn’t Harry.  
“Fine, go to hell then” Niall said and got up to sit down in another place.  
The teacher arrived but Niall couldn’t pay attention at the class as he was thinking what the hell had happen to Harry, he wasn’t the same, even though they hadn’t talk much before. The class finished and Niall went out of the class quickly. Harry followed him. Niall started walking down the corridor but he stopped when he heard a husky voice calling him behind him.  
“Niall wait” Harry said. Niall turn around to face Harry. There they were again, those big green eyes full of mystery but beautiful.  
“What do you want?” Niall was angry.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so rude” Harry apologized.  
“But you were” Niall wouldn’t forgive him so easily.  
“I don’t want to talk to you, anymore” Harry said. Niall wasn’t expecting that.  
“What? Are you friends with those idiots?” Niall pointed his finger to the boys who bullied him almost everyday. “That’s what you don’t want to talk to me?”  
“No, Niall, it’s the best for you, trust me”  
“The best for me? How do you know what’s the best for me if you don’t even know me?” Niall was really angry at this point.  
“You don’t know me either, that why I’m telling you this”  
“I don’t know you because you don’t give me the chance to”  
“Niall shut the fuck up, and forget me, pretend that a don’t exist and I do the same with you!” Ice again.  
Niall wanted to cry, more than anything, but he couldn’t, everyone would laugh at him, even Harry. He turned around and left Harry standing alone. Niall went to the bathroom, fortunately nobody was there. Niall let a tear stream down his face, and then another one, and another one. He didn’t know why he was crying, it wasn’t like Harry was his best friend or something, in fact as Harry had said just minutes ago, Niall didn’t even know Harry, but although all the hate Niall had received all this years he just wasn’t used to someone not loving him, and every time someone reject him or bullied him he would cry because it hurt him and he couldn’t help it. When Niall went out of the bathroom he met Louis.  
“Hey what were you doing?” Louis asked him  
“Nothing really, just felt bad but I’m better now”  
“Don’t lie to me Niall Horan, you have red puffy eyes, were those boys again?”  
“No, it’s nothing Lou, really”  
“Tell me who made you cry” Louis was serious now. You could only see Louis serious if he was talking about a gossip or if someone had hurt one of his best friends.  
“It was Harry” Niall admitted  
“Harry? Harry as the Harry that’s the new boy? As the one you like?” Louis asked surprised.  
“Shut up! I don’t like him! And yes, it was that Harry”  
“What happened?”  
“He hates me” Niall said  
“Did he tell you that?”  
“No, it wasn’t exactly like that, but he told me he didn’t want to talk to me anymore”  
“What a prick” Louis stated  
“I know”  
                                                            ***  
Days passed and Niall hadn’t talk to Harry, he would look at him sometimes but he would look to another place if Harry looked at his direction.  Niall wanted to know this boy, he didn’t know why, but he needed to. And he was starting to feel something about him, he didn’t knew why or what it was, but he couldn’t help it. It was two weeks since Harry and Niall hadn’t talk and the literature teacher, Mrs. Ferguson, was about to change that.  
“Boys, you’re going to do an exposition about some writers, it has to be in groups of three and a pair, you can do the groups if you want, tell me at the end of the class the names of the people in your group”  
Suddenly everyone already had their group, but obviously Niall not, nobody would want to be with him. Niall looked around to see who was alone, and once again his eyes met Harry’s. He felt the butterflies in his stomach like he felt the first day he saw Harry. Niall got up and sat down next to Harry.  
“Looks like we’re going to have to work together” Niall said to him. “Mrs. Ferguson won’t let you continue with your plan of pretending I don’t exist” Harry laugh slightly.  
“We can do it alone” Harry said.  
“But I don’t want to, everyone will do it in groups”  
“I don’t want to either” Harry shrugged.  
“Seriously, I don’t understand you Harry Styles”   
“Don’t worry, nobody does.” Harry laughed bitterly.  
The bell rang. And Niall exited but wait for Harry at the door. The brunette boy walked past him trough the corridor.  
“We can do it about Shakespeare” Niall said reaching for him.  
“Fine” what’s all Harry said.  
“And we can go to my house after the school, if you want. My parents aren’t there…” Niall suggested.  
“You and me? Alone in your house?” Harry wasn’t convinced.  
“Yes, why? Are you a vampire or something? Are you going to eat me?” Niall joked, and it worked because Harry laughed.  
“Okay, I’ll meet you here when the classes finish” Harry said and Niall nodded in agreement.  
                                                            ***  
Niall met Louis at lunch time.  
“Are you going to tell him you like him?” Louis asked after Niall had explain him what had happen.  
“Obviously not Louis”  
“Why? I don’t understand when people don’t tell they like each other”  
“He didn’t want to talk to my and now he’s finally talking to me again I think I would be a bad idea if I tell him I like him, and I’m sure he’s not homosexual” Niall said.  
“You’ll never know it if you don’t try”  
“Hey boys, what are you talking about?” Zayn said as he and Liam sat next to Louis and Niall.  
“Nothing really…” Niall said.  
                                                            ***  
When the classes finished Niall went to the point of meeting he had accorded with Harry. He waited about fifteen minutes. Harry wouldn’t come so he started walking towards the door.  
“Hey, are you leaving without me?” A voice called behind him. Niall turned around. It was Harry.  
“I’ve been waiting for you like fifteen minutes. I thought you wouldn’t come”  
“I said I would come” Harry said “I’ve been to Mr. Cowell’s office”  
“WHat had happen?” Niall asked.  
“Nothing” Harry said “We should go now”  
The boys started walking to Niall’s house. They walked in silence. When they arrived they went upstairs to Niall’s bedroom and Niall took some food.  
“That’s your bedroom?” Harry asked looking around.  
“Yes, I’m sorry, it’s a bit messy” Niall said awkwardly.  
“I like it” was all Harry said and Niall, without knowing why blushed.  
They started working and even though Niall couldn’t concentrate very much he realized how Harry loved Literature, he knew a lot about it. Niall couldn’t help but stare at Harry. He was perfect, his hair, his nose, his skin, not to mention his eyes, or his lips. His lips, they seemed so soft and were so red, Niall wanted to kiss them. Stop thinking that, you idiot. Niall thought to himself.  
“We should talk more about Romeo and Juliet in the exposition, don’t you think?” Harry asked interrupting Niall from his thoughts.  
“W-What?” Was all Niall could answer as he wasn’t paying much attention on what they were working.  
“Maybe we should take a break” Harry suggested and Niall nodded “do you play the guitar?” Harry asked looking at the guitar that were on the corner of Niall’s room.  
“Yes” Niall answered.  
There was a silence. An awkward silence. And Niall decided to broke it.  
“I’m gay” Niall said and he regret seconds later, he didn’t knew how he had dare to said that. He hasn’t planned this. Oh my God, what did I just said? Niall thought. Harry looked at him calmly, like expecting that Niall was going to anything more. “Well, not gay, I like girls too…” Niall smiled nervously.  
“Why are you telling me this?” Harry asked.  
“I-I don’t know, only Louis know about this”  
“So are you both dating?” Harry sounded a bit angry when he asked it, as if he cared that Niall was with another boy, but maybe it was just Niall’s imagination.  
“What? No, no, Louis is straight” Niall said “and… I-I like another boy” At that moment Niall was wondering where the hell has all this courage come from. Niall looked into Harry’s eyes. But Harry got up the chair quickly.  
“I have to go” he said.  
“Why? We haven’t finish yet. It’s because what I said? I’m sorry I didn’t mean-” a soft lips interrupted him. Harry had placed his hand at the side of Niall’s face and pressed their lips together. It was a soft, gentle kiss. And to Niall it was perfect. Harry break the kiss. He rested his forehead on Niall’s.  
“I’ve been trying to protect you, to keep you away from me, but you make it so hard, and I can’t do it anymore” Harry said. Niall could feel the pain in his voice, like he was about to cry. But he won’t, Harry wasn’t one of this who liked to cry in public.  
“Don’t do it then” Niall said before connecting their lips again. But then again Harry pulled away from the kiss.  
“I have to go” was all he said before leaving the house, before leaving Niall there, standing alone, without knowing very well what had just happened. The only thing Niall knew was that he liked Harry, even more that he had thought, and he was willing to find out what was happening on Harry’s head.

                                                              ***  
Part III.

It has been a week since Harry and Niall kissed. They hadn’t talk. Sometimes they would look at each other or even flash a smile. They both were too shy or maybe they were scared, scared of their feelings.  
Harry saw Niall at the lockers, alone, (which was unusual as he was always with Liam or Louis, maybe that was one of the things why he hadn’t talked to Niall) he went to him.  
“Hey” Harry said to Niall. Niall looked at him and smiled “I-I’m sorry”  
“Why?” Niall looked confused.  
“Because of what happened, I mean, I’m sorry because I left you there without explaining and then I didn’t talk to you for so long…” Harry said, more nervous that he had expected, and Niall smiled again.  
“It doesn’t mind, really” Niall shrugged.  
“I’m afraid Niall” Harry said and Niall could see sadness in his eyes.  
“Why?”  
“I’m afraid of what I feel, because I really like you, a lot” Niall couldn’t help but blush “and I’m not afraid about that ‘I’m gay and I don’t want anyone to know because they’ll hate me’ thing, I’m afraid of what I could do to you” Harry finished.  
“Who are you? Edward Cullen? Christian Grey?” Niall joked.  
“No, this is serious, I-I would like to meet you today after the classes”  
“Would you kiss me again?” Niall joked again, and this was the first time they were directly talking about the kiss.  
“Maybe” they both smiled, and Niall realized that actually they were flirting. “I’ll see you here, we can go to my house if you want” Niall nodded “okay, see you later” Harry disappear down the corridor.  
                                                              ***  
Seconds seemed minutes, minutes, seemed hours seemed years. Niall couldn’t wait to finish the classes and meet Harry. It seemed like finally they were doing it well. Niall had told Louis about everything and they had become closer friends. Niall felt a bit bad because he knew he should’ve told Liam too, but he will, at the right time, and he wanted to know first what was going on with Harry. The bell finally rang and the class finish, Niall exited the room running to the point of meeting he had accorded with Harry. This time Harry was waiting for him laying casually at the lockers, which made him look even more attractive. Niall wanted to run to him and kiss him. But he couldn’t, obviously. So he just went to Harry and smiled at him.  
“Are you ready to go?” Harry asked and Niall simply nodded.  
                                                              ***  
They entered at a private urbanization. Harry was driving, the car looked expensive but Niall didn’t give much importance. He looked at all the big houses through the window and wondered if Harry lived in a house like those. And they answer was yes. The car stopped in front of a big white house. Niall mouth dropped open.  
“D-do you live here?” He asked.  
“Yes” was all Harry said.  
And with that Harry got out of the car and Niall did the same. Niall followed Harry to the house and the entered. Everything inside the house looked expensive and beautiful. Niall couldn’t find words to describe it. He would never imagined Harry would live in a house like that.  
“Are you parents at home?” Niall asked  
“I don’t know, maybe” Harry shrugged  
“HARREEEEH” a cute little girl went running to Harry shouting his name. Se looked happy of seeing him. Harry took her in his arms and hugged her. He probably was six or seven years old.  
“Hey, did you miss me?” Harry asked her and she nodded. Harry was smiling, a true smile “Niall, this is my sister Gemma. Gem, this is Niall” Harry introduced them.  
“Hi Gemma” Niall smiled at her.  
“Are you the Niall that Harry talks about all the time?” She asked innocently. Niall looked at Harry and laughed.  
“Okay, I think that was enough” Harry said leaving Gemma on the floor. “Go with Helen”  
“But I want to be with you and Niall”  
“Not now Gem, I promise you we will play later okay?” Gemma nodded and run to where Harry had told her. Harry looked at Niall who was still smiling and took him by the hand and lead him upstairs.  
They went to Harry’s bedroom, it was big, but it didn’t fit with the house. There were a lot of posters on the walls, a big collection of CD’s, a desk with a computer and a lot of things on it and also a big shelf with a lot o books, Harry clearly loved reading, and I’m the middle there was a king size bed that looked so comfortable, and Niall could see too a crystal door that lead you to a kind of balcony. Niall sat on Harry’s bed while Harry was trying to organize the room.  
“Is that true?” Niall asked.  
“What?”  
“What your sister said” Niall bite his lips trying to stop the smile.  
“Maybe” was Harry’s answer. Niall stood up.  
“There’s no maybe, there’s only yes or no”  
“I don’t want you to think I’m obsessed or something” Harry stopped doing things looking directly to Niall.  
“I won’t think that” Niall said.  
“Then, yes, it was true” Harry finally admitted and Niall smiled triumphantly. “Stop smiling!” Harry laughed and Niall smiled even more.  
“Or what?” Niall dared.  
“Or I will have to do something”  
“Like what?”  
And with that Harry walked closer to Niall until he was in front of him, he grabbed Niall by the waist and pressed their lips together. They were kissing, again. Niall immediately kiss him back and put his hands at the back of Harry’s neck. Harry begged for entrance and Niall opened his mouth letting Harry’s tongue slid in. They fought for dominance but Niall surrendered and let Harry take control. It was a romantic, passionate kiss.  When they had to breath they broke the kiss. Harry stepped back and looked at Niall.  
“I shouldn’t have done that” Harry said looking sad.  
“W-why?” Niall looked very confused.  
“I have to tell you everything first and the you can decide what you’re gonna do”  
“Tell me what?”  
They both sat down on Harry’s bed, looking at each other. It was the moment. He was about to tell everything to Niall. Maybe he would run away or maybe he would stay. He could only it knew if he told Niall.  
“Niall, there’s a reason why I’ve been avoiding you and my feelings about you” Harry started “I had always try to stay away from people, being on my own, because I don’t want to hurt anyone but then there’s another part of me that I know that could” Harry was about to cry, Niall could see the tears coming to Harry’s eyes.  
“I-I don’t get it Harry”  
“Niall” Harry looked at him in the eyes. That was the moment “I have serious mental disorders”  
Niall didn’t say anything he just stared at Harry. That couldn’t be the truth, he seemed so normal, he didn’t look like he was crazy or something. A tear streamed down Harry’s face and he quickly cleaned it with his hand, the he stood up.  
“You can go now, I understand you’re afraid, it’s normal” Harry looked at the window not wanting to see how Niall left “I knew this would happen”  
Harry felt how Niall stood up from the bed, and another tear rolled down his cheek, what he hadn’t expected was the two arms that had embraced him, grabbing him from the waist. Niall hadn’t left, he had stayed with him, in despite of everything.  
“I’m not going anywhere” Niall whispered in his ear and rested his head on Harry’s back.  
Harry turned around to face Niall, now a lot of tears streaming down his face.  
“Why?” Harry asked and Niall gave him a confused look “why are you staying?” Harry explained himself.  
“Maybe because I’m an idiot or maybe because now that I have found you don’t want to let you go”  
“I’m dangerous” Harry said.  
“I don’t care” Niall kissed Harry’s cheek and then he gave him a quick kiss on the lips and they hugged each other.  
                                                              ***  
They ate something and went back to Harry’s room, they spend the day cuddling in Harry’s bed and Niall fell asleep in Harry’s arms.  
“I don’t want to say it because maybe it’s too soon, but I’m completely in love with you Niall Horan” Harry whispered knowing Niall was asleep.  
“I’m in love with you too Harry” Niall answered.  
“I thought you were asleep”  
“But I wasn’t”  
Harry kissed the top of Niall’s head. And there was a silence, not an awkward silence like it used to be but a peaceful silence. And suddenly the door opened. The boys got away from their embrace and sat up.  
“Harr- Oh hi” a brunette woman was at the door, he looked too young to be Harry’s mother, he was dressed with beautiful (and expensive) clothes “are you going to introduce me to your friend?”  
“Why should I?” Harry sounded angry.  
Niall stood up and went to the woman standing at the door.  
“My name’s Niall Horan” he smiled and lend her his hand, she shook her hand with his.  
“My name is Helen, I’m Harry’s step-mother” she smiled back “Harry your father wants to know if you’re going to eat with us tonight”  
“I don’t know, can you go now please?” The woman left the room leaving the two boys alone.  
“Why are you so rude with her?” Niall asked him. Harry glared at him, he still looked angry “she seems nice”  
“You don’t know her Niall” Harry stood up.  
“Yeah but-“  
“Shut the fuck up!” Harry cut him off and immediately he regretted he had shout to Niall. “I’m sorry Niall, I didn’t want to-“  
“Doesn’t mind” Niall said “I have to go now”  
“Niall please, don’t” Harry begged.  
“It’s too late, I’ll see you at school” Niall gave Harry a quick kiss and left the room.  
Downstairs was Harry’s step-mother and his father.  
“Look honey, this is Harry’s friend” Lisa introduce him.  
“Hi, my name is Des, I’m Harry’s father”  
“My name is Niall” they shook their hands.  
“Are you going home?” Des asked  
“Yes, it’s getting late”  
“Why don’t you eat with us?” Helen suggested.  
“I wish I could, but my parents are waiting for me” Niall excused himself and left the house.  
He didn’t know how he was going to get home because it was a bit far from Harry’s house, and he knew that he was acting like a dickhead, Harry had only shouted at him but in despite of everything Niall hadn’t expected that.  He finally got home, he ate something and went to sleep. When he was already in bed he received a text message:  
Today had been one of the best days of my life, I’m sorry I ruined it, please forgive me. -Harry x  
Of course he would forgive him, he knew he had acted wrong and now he was again, but he didn’t replied to Harry’s text, and he just felt asleep.  
                                                              ***  
Next day at school Harry saw Niall talking to Louis at the cafeteria, and he run up to him, not minding Louis was with him.  
“I’m sorry Niall” Harry said. The other two boys looked up at him, as they were sat down. Niall stood up.  
“Let’s talk in another place” Niall took Harry by the hand and lead him out of the cafeteria while Louis were looking at them wondering what was happening.  
Niall lead Harry to a small garden at the back of the high school, it was beautiful and it was full of flowers.  
“What is this place?” Harry asked.  
“It’s my secret place, I used to hide here when those boys bullied me” the looked at each other “Harry, I’m the one who has to be sorry, I acted like a dickhead, I shouldn’t had left you”  
“I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t had shout at you, but Niall, you have to know that this is how I act, sometimes I’m fine and sometimes I hate everybody, and this time I only shouted at you but I could’ve-” a pair of soft lips cut him off.  
“I know, I’m sorry, I overreacted it wasn’t that much, I shout sometimes too” Niall said once he broke the kiss.  
The boys lied down on the grass in silence. They stay like that for what seems like hours, but they were only minutes.  
“My mother died” Harry suddenly said. Niall looked at him  
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to”  
“But I do” and he continued “my parents were divorced and my sister and I lived with my mother but one day” Harry stopped, he was about to cry, Niall hold his hand “one day, on my birthday she had forgot to buy the cake, so she went to buy it, it was raining. Then the only thing I knew is that my aunt came to my house and told me everything, my sister was too little. And then we went to live with my father and I discovered that he had been cheating on my mom with Helen before they had divorced, that’s why I don’t like her” Harry finish, and Niall kissed his hand. “Sometimes I feel like it was my fault, I didn’t need the cake, I just need her.”  
“But it wasn’t Harry, you couldn’t know what would happen” Niall said and Harry looked at him, now both looking at each other. A tear streamed down Harry’s face.  
“I love you” Harry said. Niall heart stopped. He looked at Harry in the eyes, he knew he was saying the truth, he loved him, but they barely knew each other. Niall knew he felt something about the curly haired boy he had never felt for any one, but was it love? Probably.  
Niall rolled over so he was on top of Harry. He kissed him and in every kiss he wanted to tell him that he loved him back because he was too coward to tell him. With every kiss they got more and more heated. It went from an innocent, romantic kiss to a passionate, full of lust one. They wanted each other, that was obvious, but it was too soon and they both knew but neither of them stopped. Niall run his hand through Harry’s body while Harry passed his hands under Niall’s shirt. They had their legs intertwined with each others so Niall felt Harry’s clear erection on his leg and he was sure Harry was feeling his.  Niall broke the kiss and started kissing Harry’s neck, he moaned. Niall sucked it until he left a small red mark.  
“We should stop” Harry said breathing heavily. And he was right. Niall stopped kissing Harry’s neck. He rolled back so now he was staring at the sky, breathing heavily just as Harry. They both stay like that for a moment, trying to catch their breath.  The bell rang and the both got up from the grass.  
“I have to go to the bathroom” Harry said smirking and looking down to his crotch. Niall smiled.  
“I’m staying here a bit more” he said and Harry nodded, Harry exited, leaving Niall there alone thinking about what had just happened.  
                                                              ***  
Days passed and things were going great. Niall had told Liam he was gay, and then Zayn. They both told him they knew it and they were happy he finally was coming out. He had told Louis everything that happen with Harry, omitting the part on the garden and that Harry had mental disorders. And with Harry everything was great too, it had been almost one month since the garden thing and they would see each other after the classes at Harry’s or Niall’s house, but mostly at Harry’s. Niall had discovered how much Harry loved his sister, how his eyes light up every time he was with her, and he couldn’t help but feel jealous. And he had learn too how to bare with Harry’s emotional changes. They got to know each other really well, like a proper couple.  
That day Niall won’t see Harry after the classes. Harry was in a bad mood and he just wanted to sleep, because that what he used to to to control himself, and Niall understood him, so he went home.  The rest of the day he had been waiting for a Harry’s text when he woke up or something but he didn’t get anything. He started to worry but he tried to keep himself entertained by playing guitar or something like that.  
It was 1.05h in the morning when he received that call. “Niall? It’s me, Helen, Harry’s I’m the hospital, I thought maybe you would like to be with him” He didn’t even ask in where hospital he was o what had happened to him. He was put on some clothes and run to his dad’s car. He went to the only hospital that were in the village, imagining he would be there, and he was right. He entered and saw Harry’s step-mother. He run to her.  
“What had happen?” He almost shouted at her. He was so nervous, almost shaking.  
“I-I don’t know” she was about to cry “I guess he lost control. He came back from school, I thought you were coming with him but he came alone, he went to his bedroom and spent there the whole afternoon, then I went to see him, I was worried, and the dinner ready, I told him but he got up and started shouting at me, the he grabbed my by my arm and started shaking my violently” at that point she was already crying, he sniffed “he pushed me to the floor, and Des came up to see what was happening, he tried to stopped Harry but he had lost control, I tried to get up and Gemma appeared at the door, he was scared, and Harry finally seemed to calm down, I took Gem who was crying and went downstairs with her, then Des had told me he left Harry crying on the floor”  
“Where’s Harry now?” Was all Niall could say.  
“I haven’t finish yet, when I was going to bed I entered at Harry’s room to see how he was and” he had to stopped, he was crying hard now “Niall, he was covered I’m his own blood, he had cuts on his arms” Niall’s heart stopped, it couldn’t be true, no it couldn’t “I called Des and he called an ambulance, he still got pulse but their trying to keep his vital signs, he had lost a lot of blood” she finally finished.  
Niall started crying, a silent cry. He couldn’t believe what was happening. Why would Harry do that? What had happened to him to lost control that way, he was taking medication to control his mental disorders. And then Niall realized what had happened. Tomorrow was Harry’s birthday, and the day his mother died, that’s why he was in a bad mood. And when Helen went to his room it just went worse. And when Gemma saw everything Harry felt bad and with all that had happened Harry decided to kill himself, without even thinking in Niall and how he would felt, and that hurt a bit inside Niall, but even if it hurts, it was the only explanation he could find. How Harry could’ve been so selfish?  
It had been two hours since Niall arrived to the hospital, he had sent her mom and dad a text saying where he was and telling them more or less what had happened. They had no news about Harry. Helen went to their house to stay with Gemma and Des stayed at the hospital. Niall fell asleep I’m the chair. Des woke him up. Niall looked at his watch, it was 6.28h in the morning.  
“Niall, they gave me some news about Harry” Niall immediately woke up when he heard those words “he’s fine, they made a blood transfusion and everything is fine, he just woke up, you can go to see him if you want”. Des told him  
“Thanks” he said a he stood up.  
Room 274. He opened the door, and there he was, Harry, his Harry. He was on the bed. He looked at the door and smiled when he saw Niall and Niall smiled back, then he looked at Harry’s wrists, and the smiles faded. The two arms were full of bandages. Niall felt tears on his eyes, he looked back at Harry and went closer to the bed.  
“Why did you do that?” Niall asked almost crying. He sounded angry but he actually was scared, scared l what could’ve happened.  
“Ni, I-”  
“No!” Niall cut him off. He was crying now. “You didn’t even think of me, how I would felt. I need you Harry, I need you with me!”  
“I’m sorry Niall, I thought the world will be better without me”  
“But that’s not true” Niall sat on the bed, facing Harry. “You mean so much to me” Harry smiled and cleaned Niall’s tears with his own hands.  
“I’m sorry” he didn’t know what to say. Niall was right, he hadn’t thought about Niall or Gemma, he had been so selfish.  
“Promise me you’ll never do that” Niall said finally more calm down.  
“I promise Ni” and Niall leaned and pressed a soft kiss on Harry’s lips. He rested his forehead on Harry’s. “I love you” Harry whispered as it was the most precious secret.  
                                                              ***  
Months passed and the boys got graduated on high school.  Niall told his parents about his sexuality and about how he loved Harry. At first his dad won’t talk to him but he just had to get used to it as Niall spend almost everyday with Harry. His mom, surprisingly, accepted it since the beginning. He told Liam and Zayn about his relationship with Harry, and the five boys started spending more time together. They even planned on traveling to New York on holidays. Harry and Niall built a small guest house at Harry’s garden where they spend every night together. So yes, you could say they are living together. Sometimes Harry would look at his scars but Niall would kiss them and tell Harry how beautiful he is.  And sometimes Niall would wake up in the middle of the night, thinking Harry is gone, but Harry would hug him and sing to him until he falls asleep. And just before Niall close his eyes he would whisper:  
“I should’ve tell you something since the first day, Harry, but I’d never dared to do it”  
“What?”  
“I love you”


End file.
